Monday, July 6, 2020


1. A narcissist threatens you to intimidate you. He wants you to stop thinking for yourself and to blindly listen to him.

2. They are capable of going at you for putting up with someone’s ill-treatment, while at the same time, they disrespect you on a daily basis without thinking that it’s their problem. It can never be their problem. It’s always someone else’s.

3. They give suspicious compliments, which are more often than not meant to sound more like an insult than praise.

4. They sabotage you because they can’t handle your success. In their world, they are the best, the smartest, and the prettiest; everyone else is worthless.

5. They create a perfect outside image of themselves. To a complete stranger, they look flawless and successful.

6. They will go to all lengths just to keep the image they’ve built alive. If that means they have to crush someone to achieve it, they won’t think twice about it.

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7. They will never initiate something. Kindly enough, they will let you tackle the problem and after you solve it, they’ll convince you that you did a lousy job and they could have done it so much better.

8. They don’t even think of you as a person, as an independent individual. They consider you an extension of themselves.

9. Fear is their main weapon. Using fear, they have complete control over you.

10. Whenever something is wrong, they blame you and tell you that you’re too emotional to handle life.

11. Vulnerability is not a plus; it’s a weakness in the eyes of every narcissist because they are wired differently.

12. Their confidence is not false. They truly think they are the best one can get.

13. They will blow some past event out of proportion and convince you it happened just the way they told you, only you forgot it because you were ‘too emotional.’

14. They set traps for you on purpose so they can appear as your ‘savior’ when you fall.

15. They’ll hurt you on purpose so that they can use their carefully thought-out plan to ‘apologize’ – in other words, to win you over.

16. They never pass on the chance to publicly humiliate you.

17. They threaten to smash or take your things.

18. They humiliate you every chance they get and yet they wonder why your confidence is so low.

19. They cannot control their emotions because they are not in touch with them.

20. They are always threatening to walk out on you because they want you to beg them to stay. They need to hear you need them and you can’t live without them.

21. One way to ensure they have complete control over you is to make sure you think you’re unlovable. They need you to think so little of yourself and that you thank God you have them in your life. Because according to your narcissist, you’re lucky anyone loves you really.

22. They verbally abuse you every time you don’t do what they want you to do.

23. Your entire relationship revolves around control. Narcissists need to have control. If they don’t, they are ready to emotionally destroy you to the point you can’t recognize yourself, just to get you to entertain their every whim.

24. If at any point of your relationship you sober up and try to find a way out, if you stand up to them, they won’t have it. Right after your rebellion, they will punish you.

25. They catch you in their web and make it almost impossible to cut loose.

26. When it suits them, they show emotions and they give love, but when it doesn’t, they take it away, which is heartbreaking for anyone who isn’t a sociopath.

27. They are in charge of the finances.

28. They are always investigating behind your back because they need to know everything going on around them.

29. Every decision you make, they will second-guess. It’s not because they don’t trust you, it’s because they want you to doubt yourself after a number of ‘you’re not capable of anything’ remarks.

30. They make sure being yourself is unacceptable. They want to change who you are and crush your self-esteem so you start believing you need to change, because who you really are is not good enough.

31. They constantly point out your flaws and they tell you right to your face that you need to change what they don’t like.

32. Every mistake you make will be used against you. It’s like you’re not allowed to make a mistake, while on the other hand, their mistakes don’t count because they will never admit to making them.

33. If you try the silent treatment, they will do anything possible to provoke you and to make you talk so they can once again turn things around.

34. They will never leave you alone because they need this relationship way more than you do. You are their narcissistic supply, something they can’t live without. So, they will leech off of you, simultaneously pushing you to leave and trying to keep you around.

35. Sadly, in the end, the good person ends up emotionally beaten while the bad guy moves on to the next victim, looking perfect in a stranger’s eyes.

© The States Lady

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