TRUE HAPPINESS IS NOT A FEELING, IT IS A CHOICE

What is happiness? People have debated this question for ages. But although you may not know how to define it, you definitely know what happiness is when you feel it. And although happiness is not the same for everyone, there is no person alive who doesn’t strive for it. We all desire happiness but those who know how to really achieve it are rare.

Most of us spend our life waiting for happiness to knock on our door and for it to magically happen to us. But what we don’t know is that happiness will never choose us, until we choose it. If you want to be happy, you are the one who has to choose to be happy. Your happiness is in your hands.

Happiness, although being the final goal, is not a destination. It is not a result, it is a journey and a way of life. You live a stressful life, surrounded by different kinds of negativities and you think that it is impossible for you to be happy in these circumstances.

Your family is always criticizing you, you are not satisfied with the relationship you are in, your job doesn’t fulfill you, you have financial problems and your friends are not the best either. And you blame destiny for everything. You think that you are simply not born to be happy and although you won’t admit this to yourself, you’ve come to terms with it. You’ve accepted that you will have good and bad moments in your life but that you will probably never achieve the ultimate happiness. So, you’ve given up.

You’ve decided to handle life the best way you can, without expecting to ever be truly and completely satisfied with it. You are actually just going with the flow, thinking you wouldn’t be able to change anything, even if you tried. And I am here to tell you that this is the worst decision you could ever make.

Maybe you don’t know it but you are the one who gave up on your own happiness. You are the one who forbids yourself to be happy and you are the one who chose to be unhappy.

It is not that you were not born under a lucky star, it is not that the universe hates you and it is not that you suffer from bad luck. You are the one who chooses whom and what you allow into your life. You are the only one with the power to choose how different things and people affect you. And most importantly, you are the only one with the power to choose how you react to everything life puts you through. It’s time to understand that you’ll never be happy until you realize your happiness is in your hands. You are the creator of your own destiny.

You are the only one who has the power to influence and to direct your own life. I know it is probably easier for you to blame some higher force for the way you are feeling but it’s time to carry some responsibility on your shoulders as well. Life will always be stressful and it will always put you through difficult situations but it is only up to you how you will let it affect you. Your attitude toward life determines your happiness.

You can choose whether you’ll focus on the bad things that are happening to you and keep yourself from being happy or you’ll think of them as valuable lessons. There is good and bad in everything and that is something you can’t have an impact on but it is up to you whether you’ll choose to see the good in everything or vice versa. It’s up to you to train your mind to think positive thoughts and when you accomplish that, you’ll be happy—not because everything is good but because you chose to see the good in everything.

Sometimes, things will not be OK but that is all a part of life and that is not something you should run away from.

Sometimes you’ll experience negative emotions but it is your choice whether you’ll allow those negative emotions to take control of you and to completely consume you, turning you into a bitter, pessimistic person or you’ll face these negative things that are happening to you, embrace those emotions as a part of life and focus on making the best of things.

But remember, happiness is not something that you can just choose to feel, without working on it. It is not a gift from the universe, it requires effort and time. Eventually,  when you experience it, you’ll see that everything was worth it.

How to Use the 80/20 Rule to Enhance Your Productivity in 2022

The 80/20 rule is an extremely useful concept anyone can use to enhance their life and productivity. It is also known as the Pareto Principle, which suggests that 20% of your actions will account for 80% of your results. The 80/20 Rule or this Pareto Principle is an efficient technique to adopt in enhancing your productivity. 

Everyone wants to increase their productivity so they can achieve more of their goals. We want to use every hour to achieve an objective, and yield beneficial results. However, being fully productive is easier said than done, as it comes with it’s ups and down. 

The 80/20 rule, if effectively leveraged can dramatically enhance your productivity.

But first  What is the 80/20 rule?

The 80/20 rule is also called the “Pareto Principle”, which is named after it’s founder, Vilfredo Pareto, an Italian economist in the year 1895. Pareto observed that the society divided naturally into two segments, “the vital few” or the top 20 percent relating to money and influence, and the “trivial many” or the bottom 80 percent.

He later discovered that almost all economic activities were subjected to this principle. About 80 percent of the Italy’s wealth during that era were  managed by 20 percent of the population. 

If we can understand and apply Pareto’s 80/20 rule to any situation, it will help us effectively prioritise tasks. 

Using the 20 percent

People usually confuse and misinterpret the 80/20 Rule to mean being able to work for only 20 percent of the day, but this isn’t how the Pareto Rule works.

The Rule is not about analysis. It details more of exercising a business mind to know where your best results come from. It can be used in every area of your life to improve your productivity.  

The 80/20 rule is an idea that entails making a to-do list of ten items with the first two listings having the highest value to represent your 20 percent. The remaining eight items on the list will cover your 80 percent.

However, so many people procrastinate on the items that have the most value to them, which is the “vital few”, and get busy with the least important, which is the “trivial many”, that plays minor roles in their success.

Here are 3 ways you can use the 80/20 rule to enhance your productivity and achieve maximum performance in your life.

1. Do the toughest task first 

Nobody likes tough tasks and we often think that the best way to remain productive is to start with the minor things first. This can get counterproductive because the tough tasks will remain in your mind all day and double you up to feeling under pressure and stressed because it is not yet done.

The best way to be productive is to handle the toughest task first. There will be relief once it is done. Additionally, you will know how much time you have left for the simple tasks. But if you get done with the easy tasks first, there may not be enough time to complete the tough task, and you will have to do it the next day which elongates the unhealthy cycle.

2. Identify and avoid any distractions

The Pareto Rule can help you remove any form of distractions from your phone, colleagues or friends. However, you can use the distractions as a reward after you have completed your 20%, which will aid productivity.

You can check your phone, speak to your colleague or a friend once you have completed the hard task. Until then you need to get the job done.

3. Get help when necessary

You can get additional help to support you in doing the minor tasks to make the process of accomplishing them faster. However, this is after you have established your 20%. Tools you can use might be project management software or anything within your niche, will enable them have more time to prioritize their 20%.    

How to Transform Your Mistakes into Business Opportunities in 2022

Business mistakes serve as opportunities to learn and try again, but this time more perfectly. Mistakes are part of human nature. Whether in our personal lives or profession, mistakes are bound to happen, we can either decide to mop over them or turn them into business opportunities.

Even the world’s most renowned business tycoons have made mistakes when taking certain decisions, but they neither quit nor relented but instead continued. This is why you will find a mistake that was once made for every business narrative. No wonder Henry Ford said, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently with the determination and commitment to succeed”.

There is no such thing as an ideal business person in the business world. Even if you work tirelessly and do everything possible to ensure your company’s success, you will never avoid all the mistakes. Since these are unavoidable, here are a few pointers on turning mistakes into business opportunities.

1. Admit and Accept

The first step is to own up to the mistakes. You cannot fix a challenge you are yet to admit. Rather than be the type of person that blames it all on external forces, acknowledge and accept where you failed.

Admitting your action and accepting the mistake will bring about growth in your business. This is because acceptance will make you see, learn, and make a positive decision.

Dave Finocchio, the CEO of Bleacher Report, said, “It’s a major violation of trust with me when people don’t admit fault or openly talk about what they could have done better. I make mistakes all the time and talk about them openly with people up and down our hierarchy. It fosters a culture where people should feel comfortable critiquing themselves honestly.”

2. Ask yourself what went wrong

Owning your mistakes is difficult, but once you have admitted and accepted what happened, you need to provide answers to the following questions: What went wrong? Why did it go wrong? What did I learn from this? And, how can I avoid this from happening moving forward? 

You can make a list of the questions with the answers. Writing a list will help you internalise the whole process. According to a statement, what I hear I forget, but what I see, I remember. Seeing the list will help you remember and avoid repeating the mistakes. 

You can also create a flowchart to identify any weak points in your business. Geoff Gross, CEO Of Medical Guardian, said, “Own it. Let go of the pride that doesn’t want you to admit that you’re wrong. And don’t waste time letting the guilt or shame consume you. Use that time to come up with a solid action plan to fix it, or at least reduce the negative impacts of your actions, in conjunction with a plan on how you can avoid such a problem in the future.”

3. Develop your plan

From your answers, draft a strategy on the way forward for your business. Through the plan, it will be easier to avoid the same mistakes that led to the last tragedy, and you will remain on track as much as possible.

When drafting the plan, be very detailed. Ensure your strategy is as precise as possible, but keep in mind that the same circumstances are unlikely to exist in the future. Also, be strict in your commitment to the strategy.

By VictoryMarshal Ayafor

ARE YOU HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR WITH YOUR ‘WORK SPOUSE’?

11 ways to help figure out if you are in an inappropriate workplace relationship.

Historically, "work spouse" is a phrase, mostly in American English, referring to a co-worker, with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of a marriage. Early references suggest that a work spouse may not just be a co-worker, but can also be someone in a similar field who the individual works closely with from a partnering company.

A work spouse has been defined as “a special, platonic friendship with a work colleague characterized by a close emotional bond, high levels of disclosure and support, and mutual trust, honesty, loyalty, and respect”.

Are you in a stable, committed, long-term relationship, but admittedly have a “work spouse”? Having a “work wife” or “work husband” is a common thing in society today. But, what if sometimes your “work spouse” relationship makes you or your coworkers uncomfortable? Assuming there is zero physical flirtation to take into consideration, how do you know where the line is? Sometimes, even just an appearance of impropriety can damage your reputation at work and home.

Here are 11 things to ask yourself to decide whether you might be stepping over the bounds of an appropriate workplace relationship:

1. Your partner is no longer the first person you’re excited to tell things to, and you often assume you’ve already told them about “x.” In reality, you already told your “work wife” because of your close working relationship, and assume that you told your partner as well.

2. Rather than doing things to impress your partner, you do them to impress your “work spouse.” Example: you’re usually pretty frugal & don’t buy little indulgences often, but around your work wife, you want to show them you support what they support, so you buy girl scout cookies from a random girl scout, despite already having purchased some from the work wife’s kid. Or, you’re not someone who typically gives bums any spare change, but you find yourself doling out $10 at an onramp with your work wife in the car on the way to a job site.

3. The idea of losing your actual partner doesn’t bother you because you know your work partner will be there to support you and help you through it. They’ll also help you justify your actions in the primary relationship’s breakdown.

4. You find yourself wishing that your partner would be more like your work partner. Perhaps, you lose sight of the fact that your “work wife” can’t afford to lose her cool at work and show how she honestly feels, while your partner at home feels safe enough around you to show their real emotions.

5. You discuss inappropriate things with your work wife, such as your actual relationship. You also talk about things you should instead ask your partner about instead of the work wife.

6. Your work wife/husband is very flirtatious and often brings up sexual things in conversations where they have no place. Example: you’re a banker, and they talk about leaving their spouse, but only if the person they leave them for has a “very big weiner…etc.”

7. Your work wife is more “needy” and “vulnerable” than your partner, so you find yourself being compelled to cater to them and thinking they need you. This might cause you to start ignoring your actual partner’s needs because they seem so small in comparison to all that your work spouse requires.

8. You start expecting your partner at home to “read your mind” more often, such as assuming they’ll realize what you want them to do, even regarding topics that have never been approached. Have you lost sight of the fact that communication at work has to be direct, face-to-face, and clear, or the project will stall? While at home, it’s much more comfortable to assume things than confront them.

9. You justify your work partner’s actions and defend them at every opportunity, even when there is no attack on them by anyone.

10. Inside, you may realize you’re overly protective of your “work spouse,” but justify it by telling yourself it’s just your job and you can’t afford to damage your working relationship.

11. You feel like it is not “real cheating” because you would never physically cheat, or there’s a big age gap or any seemingly plausible, but actually entirely superficial excuse because if you’re emotionally closer to someone besides your partner, there is an issue.

If you agreed with one or two of the above statements, you’re probably in the clear. After all, you can only talk about work so much, and inquiring about other people’s lives is normal, natural, healthy, and contributes to a friendlier work environment. No one wants to work somewhere, where no one cares about their family life, or they feel like they can’t be themselves.

However, if you agreed with the majority or all of the 11 statements, you might want to:

Come clean with yourself.

Come clean with your partner before irreparable damage occurs, and

Have a talk with your “work spouse” to set more appropriate boundaries before either of you take it too far.

The last thing you want to do is damage the trust you have at home via an inappropriate work relationship or to damage your career through the appearance of an inappropriate relationship.

Good luck! And be honest with yourself!

GOAL-SETTING STRATEGIES TO START THE NEW YEAR STRONG

If you want to succeed in business and in life, you need to set goals and then do everything in your power to achieve them. Here are some proven strategies to help you FOCUS and set SMART goals to start the new year strong.

FOCUS on Your Goals

To achieve what you want, it’s important to write clearly defined goals. Written goals have three powerful advantages:

1. They clarify what you want to achieve. Committing your goals to paper is a powerful way to get clear about what you want to achieve. Plus, the act of writing encodes it in your brain.

2. They create a mental picture to focus your energies. When you have a visual of what you want to achieve, you’re able to FOCUS: Follow One Course Until Success.

3. They unlock the power of the subconscious mind. When your goals are written down, the power of your subconscious mind is unlocked. You constantly think of how to get what you want, even while you sleep.

Get SMART

Often, we miss our goals because we lack motivation, we can’t see progress or we drift off course. To avoid this, we need to get SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-Bound. By writing goals with these themes, you’re far more likely to achieve them.

Specific: Instead of writing a broad goal, such as “I want to make more money,” take the time to really drill down. What does “more money” mean to you? Are you trying to double your annual income, or do you want to close one extra transaction a month? Getting specific gives you a boost of powerful momentum.

Measurable: To know you’re headed in the right direction, it’s vital to consistently track and measure your progress. In the moment, it’s easy to feel discouraged or believe you’ve achieved very little. By tracking every activity and small win, you’ll be able to see how far you’ve come and what you need to do to keep moving forward.

Achievable: If you don’t have the right skills and tools to achieve your desired outcome, you’re setting yourself up for failure. As a new agent, a real estate training program like 100 Days to Greatness® is the perfect way to gain the skills you need to succeed in today’s competitive and challenging marketplace.

Realistic: When setting goals, be realistic. For example, it’s unlikely that you’ll make your fortune in your first year of business. However, if you’re consistent with your activities and you stay the course, you’ll be on track to meet every important milestone and achieve your dreams.

Time-Bound: Give yourself enough time to reach your goals. If you don’t, you’ll end up feeling disheartened and frustrated. Some goals take longer to achieve than others, so be patient.

SMART goal setting can transform your business and your life. Once you start setting goals, you’ll start reaching them, and your confidence will grow. The more your confidence grows, the bigger the goals you’ll set and the greater your accomplishments will be. 

MARRIAGE IS A GOOD THING

Marriage can easily become boring routine. Both husband and wife must find creative ways to keep life interesting and fun. Never miss opportunities to celebrate life together. Travel and visit places of interest together. Attend marriage seminars, getaways and workshops together. Read a marriage book together. Volunteer together. Just get out if the house together and do interesting activities together. Yes, plan but sometimes just be spontaneous and go. Life is to short to spend it in a boring routine. 

HOW A WOMAN CAN MAKE HER MAN KEEP LOVING HER.

1. CORRECT HIM

Men, love it when the woman tells him when he wrongs. The problem is many women don't know how to correct. Correct him with love, "Honey, don't you think it would have been better if..."; don't scold him like he is a little boy. Approach and tone is key. Don't attack

2. CHALLENGE HIM

Do greater things on your own, inspire him, expose him to greatness, make progress in your life that he feels he needs to pull up his socks. 

Don't just sit lazy. A man wants a woman who is hungry for her own personal growth. Challenging him doesn't mean looking down on him or asking why can't he be like other men?

3. NEED HIM

Men love feeling needed. Lovingly ask him for help, ask him for advice, "My love, what do you think I should do?". Involve him in your life and when he does help, thank him

4. PRAY FOR HIM

No matter the level of a man's spirituality, prayer is respected and considered sacred. Pray for him, let him hear you pray for him

5. PRAISE HIM

The kind of compliments men love are, "You are such a good man", "You make a great dad", "Your mind is incredible", "You have a sexy body", 

"I love how you touch me", "My honey, I am proud of you". Praise him in private and in public. Don't be that woman who is quick to point out his flaws but rarely highlights what he does right

6. SEXUALLY MAKE ADVANCES

Many women think sex is to be left to the man, so they wait for the man to make advances. They become passive and shy during sex.

Lady, your husband will love it sometimes if you are sexually aggressive, ask for his body, reach for his penis. Show him that you know he belongs to you. Make sex an adventure

7. SHOW INTEREST IN HIM

Ask him how his day is, his dreams, if he is OK. Most women want the man to show interest but they don't show interest back

8. TRUST HIM, DON'T MICROMANAGE HIM

Don't be overly possessives, demanding him to spend every second with you. Snooping his phone and doubting him when you find nothing, being suspicious of him, chocking his social life, . Be mature, if you push him away, he will keep things from you then things will get ugly. 

Most men keep things from their women, not because they are doing something wrong but because their women read too much into everything and pick up fights. This is dangerous. You are his Queen, wear your crown with confidence

9. COMPLAIN LESS

So many women don't even know they complain, they think they are simply expressing their right to speak and get things done properly. 

But men dislike a complaining woman, if he doesn't do things as you like, if he is not at your level; don't attack and nag. Just simply request him to do things a better way, but as you do so, appreciate the much he has done so far

10. GIVE HIM PEACE

This is what we all want when with a person. Peace. Peace at home. No fights, no frustrations, no stress. If your man is spending less time with you, perhaps you're not giving him peace. Men avoid complicated and draining environments. 

Lady, you complaining every day to him that he doesn't spend much time with you makes things worse. You think you are putting your point across but he feels pushed away. Attract him to you by giving him peace. Some men stay out there, not looking for a woman, but looking for peace

11. LOOK GOOD

Dress up, look sexy. Don't look good only when you are outside the home, look good also when it's just you two

12. TREAT HIM

Cater to him, cook for him, buy him gifts, treat him like a king, straighten his tie. These simple things mean alot to him, even if not every day, often

13. HAVE GOOD CONVERSATIONS

Men get attracted to good conversations. They want laughter, depth, intelligent conversations. They want to be listened to, to be wowed by a woman's mind. A woman who talks lovey dovey stuff but also about business, investments, social issues, a great vision; that woman is a keeper

14. EAT WITH HIM

Men love a good meal. Make it a habit to eat with him. Food brings people together

15. BE ADMIRABLE

Succeed in your personal life, do great things outside your marriage. Shine as a woman. Make him proud to say "That is my wife". Even the Proverbs 31 husband calls his wife "Blessed"

16. BE FRIENDLY TO HIS FRIENDS

Don't fight his friends. Find out who his friends are, get to have laughs and talks with them. Support his social life, be good to his family and siblings. 

If you have an issue with one of them, bring it to his attention without starting a war. Allow to also know your friends. When you both do this, it makes both of you secure

17. MAKE AN EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND WHAT HE LIKES. Find out what he likes and spend time with him once in a while doing that thing. If he loves rugby, watch matches with him sometimes; if he wins an award, go cheer him as he receives it; be his fan. You will not fail in marriage in Jesus name